We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
