Small penises have feelings too.
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
