Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
