I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
Randomize
