Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
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