you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Randomize
