does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
