Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
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