and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
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