and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Randomize
