I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
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