in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
Randomize
