i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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