he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Randomize
