um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
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