mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
