That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
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