I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
Randomize
