Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Randomize
