I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
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Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
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We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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