so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
