whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
Randomize
