im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
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