Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Randomize
