If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Randomize
