captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
