Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Randomize
