You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Randomize
