I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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