We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
