i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
