in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
