He had one of those small greek statue penises
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
There's a naked man in my car right now.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
