I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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