Michael Bay diarrhea
operation have a gay friend backfired
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
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