Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Randomize
