You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Randomize
