he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
