worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
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