Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
