my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
