I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
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