Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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