For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
I just had sex on a roof
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
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