Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
Randomize
