Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
