We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
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