I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
We need to feng shui this bitch.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize