ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
Can't talk, ducks in the car
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize