I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Randomize
