dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
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