I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
