he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
Randomize
