Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
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