he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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