just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
