You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
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