I must be too annoying 4 u.
I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
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It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
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i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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