i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Randomize
