what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
There's even glitter on my cock...
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