we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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