He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
Randomize
