he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
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