wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
