Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
