hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
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