Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
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