I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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