thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
Randomize
