the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
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That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
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I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
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