you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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